Dept. of Disputation: Red Sex, Blue Sex: newyorker.com
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Monday, July 20, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Tryna Wit Gordon
Thank you for choosing Bank of America. You are now being connected to a Bank of America Online Banking Specialist.
Gordon: Hello, my name is Gordon. Thank you for being a valued Bank of America customer.
Gordon: To begin with, may I please have your complete name so that I can pull up the record?
You: Christopher J Clayman
You: or christopher James Clayman
Gordon: Thank you, Christopher.
Gordon: How are you doing today?
You: I'm a little sweaty, but good
Gordon: How may I assist you today with your personal checking and savings accounts?
You: how about you, Gordon?
Gordon: I am fine, thank you for asking.
Gordon: How may I assist you today with your personal checking and savings accounts?
You: I spoke with a representative about 2 weeks ago
You: I'm currently travelling in India
You: and misplaced my debit card
You: they suspended it and ordered a new card to be sent to my Indian address
You: but I haven't received it
You: I was wondering if you could check the status
You: make sure it was mailed, or when it was last received, etc.
Gordon: Sure.
Gordon: I completely understand your concern.
Gordon: I will be glad to review the account for you.
Gordon: Please allow me some time.
Gordon: Let me check that for you.
You: You are a man of immense empathy, I can feel it
Gordon: I apologize for the delay. I'll be with you shortly.
You: take your time, friend
Gordon: Thank you.
Gordon: Thank you for your patience. I reviewed the account for you. I can see that the check card was sent on 6/24/09, it takes 16 business days for the card to reach at a foreign location, that means the card will reach by 07/16/09.
You: Ohhhhhhhhhh 16 business days
You: I see
Gordon: Also if you are in need of urgent cash I can provide you with the phone number for our Visa department, they will be able to provide you with the cash in India.
You: I leave town on Saturday
You: really...
You: what are the fees on that?
You: I'll take the number
Gordon: Yes, that is correct.
Gordon: Sure.
You: If I don't get the card by Friday, will I be able to call again and cancel that card as well?
Gordon: I apologize, I will not be able to provide you with the information on the fee.
Gordon: Sure.
Gordon: You may call us at collect at 1.410.581.9994. We are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Gordon: This is the number for Visa department.
You: Will the representatives on the phone be as nice as you?
Gordon: Sure.
Gordon: We are always here to take care of your banking needs.
Gordon: We will do everything to satisfy your banking needs.
Gordon: Please be assured.
Gordon: Is there anything else that I may assist you with today?
You: I am very assured, thank you
Gordon: You are welcome.
Gordon: It has been a pleasure assisting you.
Gordon: Have a wonderful day.
You: is there an India prefix
You: for the number?
Gordon: No there is no prefix, you may dial the number directly.
You: with the country code, I presume
Gordon: That is correct.
You: Gordon, I hope the future brings you bright happiness
Gordon: Thank you so much, Christopher.
Gordon: I assist a number of customers daily, however, such a wish is a rare treat!!!
Gordon: I also wish you a lot of happiness and glory,
Gordon: Have a great life ahead, Christopher!!!
You: That means alot to me!
Gordon: All the very best!
You: Peace be with you
You: May the force be with you
Gordon: And may all the glory be to you!
Gordon: Take great care of yourself, Christopher!
Gordon: You are definitely valued!
You: Ahh, you brighten my life, thanks Gordon. You're a cutie.
You: Till we meet again, my lovely...
Gordon: We appreciate your business at Bank of America.
Gordon: It has been a pleasure assisting you.
Gordon: Thank you for choosing our Text Chat service.
Gordon: Sure!
Gordon: I will keep my fingers crossed to chat with you again.
Gordon: Keep smiling!
Gordon: :)
Gordon: Bye, Bye.
Gordon: Hello, my name is Gordon. Thank you for being a valued Bank of America customer.
Gordon: To begin with, may I please have your complete name so that I can pull up the record?
You: Christopher J Clayman
You: or christopher James Clayman
Gordon: Thank you, Christopher.
Gordon: How are you doing today?
You: I'm a little sweaty, but good
Gordon: How may I assist you today with your personal checking and savings accounts?
You: how about you, Gordon?
Gordon: I am fine, thank you for asking.
Gordon: How may I assist you today with your personal checking and savings accounts?
You: I spoke with a representative about 2 weeks ago
You: I'm currently travelling in India
You: and misplaced my debit card
You: they suspended it and ordered a new card to be sent to my Indian address
You: but I haven't received it
You: I was wondering if you could check the status
You: make sure it was mailed, or when it was last received, etc.
Gordon: Sure.
Gordon: I completely understand your concern.
Gordon: I will be glad to review the account for you.
Gordon: Please allow me some time.
Gordon: Let me check that for you.
You: You are a man of immense empathy, I can feel it
Gordon: I apologize for the delay. I'll be with you shortly.
You: take your time, friend
Gordon: Thank you.
Gordon: Thank you for your patience. I reviewed the account for you. I can see that the check card was sent on 6/24/09, it takes 16 business days for the card to reach at a foreign location, that means the card will reach by 07/16/09.
You: Ohhhhhhhhhh 16 business days
You: I see
Gordon: Also if you are in need of urgent cash I can provide you with the phone number for our Visa department, they will be able to provide you with the cash in India.
You: I leave town on Saturday
You: really...
You: what are the fees on that?
You: I'll take the number
Gordon: Yes, that is correct.
Gordon: Sure.
You: If I don't get the card by Friday, will I be able to call again and cancel that card as well?
Gordon: I apologize, I will not be able to provide you with the information on the fee.
Gordon: Sure.
Gordon: You may call us at collect at 1.410.581.9994. We are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Gordon: This is the number for Visa department.
You: Will the representatives on the phone be as nice as you?
Gordon: Sure.
Gordon: We are always here to take care of your banking needs.
Gordon: We will do everything to satisfy your banking needs.
Gordon: Please be assured.
Gordon: Is there anything else that I may assist you with today?
You: I am very assured, thank you
Gordon: You are welcome.
Gordon: It has been a pleasure assisting you.
Gordon: Have a wonderful day.
You: is there an India prefix
You: for the number?
Gordon: No there is no prefix, you may dial the number directly.
You: with the country code, I presume
Gordon: That is correct.
You: Gordon, I hope the future brings you bright happiness
Gordon: Thank you so much, Christopher.
Gordon: I assist a number of customers daily, however, such a wish is a rare treat!!!
Gordon: I also wish you a lot of happiness and glory,
Gordon: Have a great life ahead, Christopher!!!
You: That means alot to me!
Gordon: All the very best!
You: Peace be with you
You: May the force be with you
Gordon: And may all the glory be to you!
Gordon: Take great care of yourself, Christopher!
Gordon: You are definitely valued!
You: Ahh, you brighten my life, thanks Gordon. You're a cutie.
You: Till we meet again, my lovely...
Gordon: We appreciate your business at Bank of America.
Gordon: It has been a pleasure assisting you.
Gordon: Thank you for choosing our Text Chat service.
Gordon: Sure!
Gordon: I will keep my fingers crossed to chat with you again.
Gordon: Keep smiling!
Gordon: :)
Gordon: Bye, Bye.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
STOP BEING CRIMINALS
HEY SOME OF US ARE IN COUNTRIES THAT HAVE SOME MORALS AND HAVE THUS BANNED PUBLIC ACCESS TO YOUTUBE, E.G. TURKEY, SO STOP POSTING VIDEOS THE CONTENTS OF WHICH I CAN ONLY IMAGINE AND WHEN I DO SO I SHUDDER AT THE DEPTHS OF IMMORALITY AND LICENTIOUSNESS YOUR DEPRAVED MINDS HAVE SURELY DESCENDED
Friday, June 26, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
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